HOW RELATIONSHIPS IMPACT OUR CREATIVITY AND WHAT WE CAN DO ABOUT THEM Many people believe that if they just perfect their abilities and skills in a particular creative area, they will be recognized—bask in the sun of their creative work and reap all the rewards. Seldom does this happen. Disappointment and frustration often rain on their parade. Why? They have not taken into account the significance of relationships. Relationships? What relationships you may ask? Let’s list a few:

• The relationship with yourself.

“Yourself” is made up of many aspects or parts. For example, many of us have: perfectionists, procrastinators, inner critics, frightened parts, arrogant parts, and dozens of other parts.

• Relationships with significant people in the early period of your life: parents, siblings, other family members, teachers, friends and even neighbors.

What messages did you receive from them? “How wonderful that you want to be an artist, a writer, an actor!” OR perhaps more likely, “Don’t waste your time on that stuff. You’ll never earn a living that way. No one in our family has ever been creative.” Perhaps you received negative messages from teachers. My music teacher in high school assured me that I could never sing and for over 30 years I believed her.

• Relationships with people in your current life.

Depending on your particular area of creativity, of course, you will have to relate to teachers, editors, directors, agents, publishers, gallery owners as well as other artists in your field. You may have to cope with people who do not honor your time, your space and your need for privacy or alone time. You may have to cope with people who do not honor or respect you or your work. What can you do? You can struggle with the various relationship problems yourself—go it alone. OR You can work with me. I have over 30 years’ experience as a licensed therapist in California, working with many people on relationship issues. I’m also certified as a creativity coach with CCA, focusing with folks on the relationship issues they have been experiencing. For many years I’ve been focused on developing my own creativity as a writer, a ceramicist plus a few dashes down the roads of water color and sumi-e brush painting. I won’t be teaching you to write, to paint, to act or to compose music. But here is what I can and will do:

• understand and resolve issues from your childhood and earlier years
• work with you to resolve any current problems with relationships.
• assist you in developing any abilities or qualities that perhaps need a little tweaking
• Help you cope with some of your inner parts—or even develop some useful ones.

photo credit: Ian Keefe